Oh, my Gawd!
It's been almost FOUR MONTHS since I posted on here. If you felt a tremor in the force this morning, it's cos when I realised this, I shook my head so violently from the sheer incredulity, it probably caused a ripple effect through the space time continuum. That's how incredulous am I. How did that even happen? Where did the flippin time go?
What even is 'time' anymore?
Retracing my steps...my last entry was posted on NYE. I was feeling rather blasé and downright cynical about the whole "new year, new leaf" thing. As if some arbitrary date could actually motivate a person to step up their efforts to do All The Things. New Things. Different Things. Life Changing Things. The niggling things that had been sitting on the back-burner for the entirety of 2020.
I was so smug about it, I made a REEL POST on Instagram to that effect.
And yet, it has to be said. I have actually stepped up my efforts to do at least some of The Things! Irony much? I've upped my rants and reels output on instagram - not to mention my weekly salute to Kate Bush. This coming week is week 23. You'll notice on my SPOTIFY PLAYLIST there are 22 songs as of today - Monday. There will be more this week. The 'missing' song, is 'Under the Ivy'. It was the B-Side to Running Up that Hill. If anyone knows someone who has found it on Spotify please let me know so I can add it.
What else did I do. OH YEAH... >>>>>
I bought a badge machine and made a shit-ton of badges! They will be up on this site soon, FOR SALE. So far, my focus has been QUEER PRIDE, Sassy Feminist imagery and Quirky messages. All hand made by yours truly. I'm particularly proud of the lil Clitoris Water Colour images I made. There's loads to choose from. TBH I tried to upload more images than just this one but this proved trickier than usual today. That's what taking four months off using a blog program does to you!
I hope to have the shop up and running soon. An announcement will be made on Twitter, Instagram and FB when that happens - and you'll see all the badges in their cheeky glory.
Let's see, what else have I been up to? OH YEAH! Regular listeners will know that I've got a SONG RELEASE in the works. This is a Very Big Thing. While I've written original songs (since taking up the UKULELE seven years ago) and performed them live at very supportive and safe lil open mics and even busked here and there when travelling...I haven't really 'owned it'
And by 'IT', I mean - ME being a SONGWRITER worthy of being listened to. Worth recording. The idea of doing that seemed way too intimidating and well, frankly, too late. How ridiculous!
I will be 60 late this year, after all.
But this song felt like it demanded to be recorded and released. It's a protest song, that came to me a year ago. I literally woke up with the idea and then wrote the lyrics in about 10 minutes. It felt bigger than a ukulele ditty. I wanted to give it depth and layers. I took the idea to my son Riley. He agreed it was indeed worthy of a proper arrangement and agreed to collaborate.
Imagine the happy dance that ensued!
It took a while for us to coordinate time for it. Then we suddenly all moved in together - so that made it easier to have spontaneous jams. From January onwards we started recording ideas and batted mp3s back and forth. A framework took shape and when that happened, my ambitions grew a little more.
I knew what style of song I was looking to pay direct homage to. I even had the gaul to request Cellos.
Cell-lo! You know you're serious when you adding a fucking cello.
Then I put myself completely in his hands, as we recorded my vocals. Layers and layers of them. I'm so proud to say this recording has been a total collaboration.
Then, in mid Feb I started focussing on ideas for the clip. Three completely different drafts and a couple of hundred hours of meticulous editing later - I finally had me a MUSIC VIDEO. I worked my butt off - and loved every minute of it.
And the music video is indeed, a statement. With a capital S.
And I made it MYSELF. Who knew I could learn how to edit? It's so much fun. Riley was my sounding board, for my ideas, and he pushed me all the way. The finished product is very different to the first draft - which barely had any footage of me in it. But he pushed me to insert more of myself into the clip.
Riley's like - "weren't you trying to make a statement?"
Riley: "Well were are you and why aren't you MAKING IT?"
The kid had a point.
This all points to just how INTIMIDATED I still was, by what I was doing. Releasing a song. A THING SONG. A VERY BIG THING SONG.
So, in finally owning it - performing in it, front and centre...the clip became a very big fucking statement.
I'm super duper proud of it. In fact - the end result looks like this was what I had intended to do, the day I woke up with the song in my head. True story. It was just shot on an iPhone 12 and I think it looks pretty good.
So, all that is left for me to do now is:
To declare to you all, here and now that IT IS DONE. I DID THE THING.
Much like the podcast, I talked about it for a couple of years before I did it. But do it I did. And I'm still doing it.
I think I can finally declare myself to be a recovering procrastinator. This is at least two things that I have started, that I have actually followed through. Go me! So can you!
Cats and Kittens, it is now my privilege/anxiety attack to announce:
MY DEBUT - "EVERYBODY", PRODUCED BY RILEY HOLT AKA BEUGS, will be released ON MAY 9.
My band name is, The Eloquent in the Room.
May 9 is MOTHER'S DAY here in Australia.
It seemed only fitting, for a mother son collab. Please set your calendars to check it out on the day of release, and if you LIKE IT, please, share and add to your own lists.
My hope is, that people GET what I'm trying to do and say. I'm feeling so vulnerable right now, cos let's face it - women my age aren't supposed to be the fodder for successful music video releases...but that's the prime motivation for doing The Thing in the first place. Everything has to have a point, with me.
I'm not the only person to have harboured dreams and fantasies to write and record their own music - and then let their age get in the way of them realising those dreams. Fuck that. DO YOUR THING!
OMG THIS HAS BEEN THE FUNNEST JOURNEY!
And I do mean funnest. Not funniest. Though we had some laughs. Singing with a driving drum beat and grungy guitar riff in my ears was it's own kind of magical 'pinch me' moment.
Reaction to this song, could be negative. People might even laugh at me. Who knows? I'm obviously hoping not. More songs will follow. Regardless.
If you would like to support me on this journey, one of the best ways of doing that is to like, share, subscribe to the pod and my youtube channel. Growing my community has been an organic exercise which has been slow but steady. I would like to monetize my efforts - but still not sure where to start. Perhaps with a Patreon or Ko-fi or similar. I'm open to suggestions and ideas. Meanwhile the badges and merch page will be up and running soon.
If you are a regular listener of the Poddy, please hit me up with which series and or single episodes have been your favourite/least favourite. Are there any topics raised already that you would like more info on?
And any topics you'd like me to tackle next. Inbox me here, or via insta OR...There's an anonymous feedback link on the 'special links' page. I plan to do more video content now that I'm getting better at the editing thing. So, it looks like I'll be even busier. I'm actually quite exhausted.
BTW, the current podcast journey through ADULTING CONSENT* (see podcast page for recent episodes) will continue - but it will soon morph into topics around self worth, self acceptance and...dare I say it: L O V E! Which could be a cue for a song. No more spoilers!
Speaking of which. I love you all. Thanks for following. Thanks for reading. If you would like to be sent an alert when the Youtube link for the song becomes LIVE, click below image to be taken to the youtube page, where you can click on the REMINDER. We can all watch it together! Meanwhile, take it easy, love yourselves, do the things you feel like you really want to do...
rinse and repeat!
Lots of Love,